I hope you had a wonderful Christmas/Holiday time with your loved ones. I did. Reflecting on why it was so good and what was different than the past gave me pause. It is because I let go. Of my expectations. Of control. Of it having to be a certain way. I just let things be. In the past, I wanted it to be so perfect that I put a lot of stress on myself and those around me. We had to have the menu exactly so and eat at this specific time and make sure everyone had equivalent gifts, that no one felt left out, and that everyone in the family had to go to church together, and we had the perfect decorations and have all the kids up first thing, etc. etc. etc. Just writing this I feel the stress rising in my chest.

(Breathe!!!) This year, I let go of all of that and focused instead on how I interact with each of my loved ones over the holidays. And many things didn’t go perfectly. Tonya’s parents had COVID and didn’t come. We had a large fire in the oven and missed things on the menu. Some family members didn’t come to church. I don’t even remember what time it was we sat down for dinner. And it was fantastic. Why?

We all worked and played together well and rolled with it. We were all relaxed and really enjoyed the process of cooking together, watching movies together, taking care of each other, giving each other our full attention, being ok if each other was only 2 of us and not 5 or 9. Tonya and I even had time for mug of hot tea before the kids came down Christmas morning. When the kitchen was full of smoke, we laughed instead of stressing or blaming. Tonya’s parents came yesterday and we celebrated with all of us together again in the same relaxed way. I am so grateful for the last two Christmases where I have let go or my expectations and just been fully present with the experience.

That has brought me, and all those around me, so much Joy!

Thank you for reading all year and for your feedback. It is deeply meaningful to me and greatly appreciated. Thank you for opening up with discussions and questions. I really enjoy it. I wish you and yours a wonderful 2023 with less expectations and control and more joy and connection.

Love,

Art